Hank Williams - “I’ll Never Get Out of this World Alive”
(ben & god are eating pizza.)
BEN:What kind of health care do you have?
GOD:I just don't get sick.
BEN:Oh.
*scene*
Cat Stevens - “If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out”
(ben is in god's bedroom searching through his things. god enters.)
GOD:Hey.
BEN:Oh! Shit!
GOD:Hi.
BEN:Damn...you scared me. Don't just creep up on a guy like that.
GOD:Sorry.
BEN:I mean, shit!
GOD:Next time I'll knock before entering...my room.
BEN:It's...yeah, nevermind.
GOD:You done?
BEN:Done with what?
GOD:Done yelling at me for coming into my own room?
BEN:God...
GOD:WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!
(ben pulls something out of his pocket.)
BEN:Here's a better question. What the fuck is THIS?!
(pause.)
GOD:...that's...my iPod.
BEN:Oh, is it? That's funny. 'Cause I thought your iPod was downstairs.
GOD:This is my backup. The one I have in case something happens to the one downstairs.
BEN:Ah, yes...so you have...TWO iPods. Is that accurate?
GOD:Yes. One is for running and the other --
BEN:Is your backup, yes. I heard that part.
(ben stares angrily at god. slight pause.)
GOD:What?
BEN:I don't have an iPod, you asshole.
GOD:How is that my problem?
BEN:You have a backup fucking iPod, and I don't have A SINGLE iPod.
GOD:And..?
BEN:You don't see anything wrong with that?
GOD:Oh, I see. I'm supposed to give you my backup iPod. Is that it?
BEN:If you love me as much as you claim to...yes.
GOD:What were you doing in my room, anyway?
BEN:Don't change the subject. This is about your love for me...or lack thereof.
GOD:Yeah, 'cause nothing says "I love you" like an iPod. You dumb ass.
BEN:You've seen me lovingly gaze at your iPod. You've heard me complain that I can't afford one. You know I love music.
GOD:I know everything, Ben.
BEN:Exactly! So why would you keep an iPod from me when you don't even use it?!
GOD:I wanted you to learn the value of a dollar.
BEN:There's no money up here, God. There's no dollars.
GOD:Not the point.
(pause.)
BEN:You know...sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you.
(ben storms off.)
GOD:Fine! You can borrow my iPod!
*scene*
